Safeway
by hySteria
Summary: what happens when Otto, Sam, and Twister end up in... a place... that they shouldn't be? will Reggie go aggro when she finds out that Otto disobeyed his parol officer? rated for some swearing and some sexual content.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Klasky Csupo owns Rocket Power. And and and. we don't or we wouldn't be dirt poor. like we are.  
  
The theme song plays and the view shows Otto at his house, yelling. "I can leave if I want! Fuck you!" he screamed at his sister. "otto! You just lit a fucking sidewalk on fire! Your parole officer will go preying mantis on you if you leave the house."  
  
Otto sneered at his sister Reggie, who was playing Lord of the Rings video games at the same time.  
  
Otto suddenly flew out the window, literally. Reggie got up, but it was already too late. Otto had already gone to the land of the strippers.  
  
As Otto was flying along, on his way to Stripperland, he was struck in the head by another flying object. It turned out to be Sam. "Sam!" Otto exclaimed. "Otto!" Sam exclaimed back. "Sam!" Otto exclaimed back again. "Say my name Otto!" Sam exclaimed. "Lets have some fun at Stripperland! I heard their sandwiches smell like whooping crane!"  
  
Sam looked at Otto as if he was a ghost "..Are you a ghost?!" Otto looked at Sam, a weird expression forming on his face, "....what?!....No, Sam. Don't go all douche-y on me!!!!!!!!" Sam shrugged and they took off down the road to Stripperland.  
  
Stripperland came into view and then stood at the chrome gates in awe, watching in their Bill Gates masks. "Holy vinegar chips!!" Sam screramed. "Sam. I asked you not to be a douche bag." Otto said politely. "No you didn't. You told me not to be all douche-y." Sam says irritably as he morphs back into a human. He did fancy his douche bag form though. The gates open and they step in to Stripperland. There was heavenly music followed by a song by the Baha Men that never made it to the radio. It was a great song though, at least Sam thought so. "HEY LADY YOU'RE BLEEDING!!!!" Otto yelled at a stripper."  
  
Sam turned around only to see a hot, lardy stripper run screaming past them on fire and bleeding. Otto and him panicked and threw some of Sam's lard on top of the stripper to put the fire out. The stripper said thanks and offered them some muffins. They gladly accepted the offer. She laughed playfully and said "Welcome to Stripperland, you celeries!" As she said this, she did the ancient Aztec llama dance in honor of their presence. 


	2. flourescent lobsters

"oh boy" screamed Sam rather pimply. "lol" otto said in return rubbing a chicken's legs with his feet. The lardy stripper had the hots for them, there was no doubt about it. they ran inside the big, fat, stupid, green, and concrete doors almost flying. Then, they did accidentally fly again. "oh bother" said Otto in a sort of Pooh-ish way. Sam giggled. The stripper was looking at them admirably but she suddenly collapsed with a strangled cry. "LA!!" she said as she hit the floor. Otto and sam said in unison, "that's weird." "OMGOMGOMG." The stripper screamed period. Melting into goo, she died slowly, flailing around like a noodle trying to find its way home. Sam and Otto shrugged and began to grow cucumbers from their butts.  
  
A chicken screamed and a bison danced. Everything was quiet. Just like Kentucky Fried Chicken. Sam's cucumber twitched a bit. "Jinkeys!" said the bison. Otto grew angry at the bison. "Michael did not lay a finger on those children!!!" sam screeched angrily at the bison. "OMG" the bison said and turned into a lime.  
  
"that was bullcrap" said Otto. Twister suddenly emerged from an olive lying helplessly on the floor. "hey twist, frog, bracelet, finger, ring, santa hat, spooner" screamed Otto, almost arousing his oranges as he screamed aloud twister's gay name. "LMAO" sam said abruptly, already his oranges were aroused and turned into nostrils. Twister flew away into a wall and said, "MICHAEL WAS A GOOD BOY, wasn't he???" otto nodded as the chicken pooped up a hacking reggie.  
  
Stay tuned for what reggie has to say about their oranges. AND WHO IS MICHAEL?? Is he a man? Is he a girl? Is his lips bigger than a butt? Are phones really intelligent? Are papers flynunuh? Can I swim in my chair?  
  
........ we may never know... la 


	3. Micheal carries groceries

Reggie appeared before them, chicken feathers forming at the sides of her arms, slowly each feather took it's place and formed beautimous wings the size of squishy rings. SHE FLEW. Otto and Twister began making out and Sam was all like "omg lol" and then Reggie decided that Kim was stupid for making run-on sentences.  
  
Leana definitely agreed with Reggie. Then another stripper waltzed out upon their presence and said, "GREETINGS FROM APPLE WORLD!!" sam fell to her feet and giggled. "you suck" otto said. Twister mashed a potato in his head. "LAAAA" he exclaimed with a flurry.  
  
Sam wasted no time in letting everyone know his feet had wooden posts the size of a suicidal ant growing from each toe. "LLLLLLLLLLOL!!!" Otto exclaimed in a matter of phone books. Reggiiinnaaaaaaaaaaaaa shook her head in disgust. "You guys never knew Michael like I did. He was fresh as oranges and citrus like bananasand every time he said that his children wore poop hats a-top their heads, I knew I wanted to marry him." Twister looked away from Otto's placed hair, Otto turned around, Sam looked at Reggie as if to say "gum." They all stood silent. Pondering...  
  
"ow. My hangnail hurts like a Ben Ashflap on a Sunday morning." Sam said hastily. Everyone made a note to throw him in the ocean the next time they were in Peru. "IT'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A BOAT!!" twister told reggie politely. Reggie scratched a sticker and shrugged. "WERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!" the stripper said in her lonely monotone. She wailed like a Balooga Whale and the world went quiet. "no." sam said.  
  
SUDDENLY, OUT OF NO WHERE. A BLACK, MYSTERIOUS FIGURE APPEARED BEFORE THEM IN A FLASH OF MOONLIGHT MIXED WITH TACO SAUCE. "REEERRR, MENOPAUSE!!!!" SCREAMED REGGIE. SHE SHIVERED WITH DELIGHT AND WAS AROUSED BY THE WAY THIS FIGURE GLARED AT THEM IN SUCH A WAY. SAM GIGGLED RATHER POO-ISHLY ONCE AGAIN, LETTING EVERYONE KNOW HE WOULD TOTALLY KILL CHRISTOPHER ROBIN IN A FEW DAYS. IT WOULD JUST TAKE SOME TIME. EVERYONE LOOKED ANGRILY AT KIM, "WTH??!?!?!??!?!?!" KIM EXCLAIMED PIGGLETTY. EVERYONE SNEERED, "STOP USING CAPS, DOUCHE BAG VAGINAL LAVAGE WHOOPING CRANE!" "OH LOL" KIM AND SAID SAT ON LEANA'S HEAD AND LAID AN EGG.  
  
Not very long after, Leana socked Kim and gouged her eyes out... just before castrating her with a dull spoon. But..... back to the STORY!!  
  
"NO I DON'T ACCEPT THAT BULLCRAP!!" otto said just as he turned into tigger. "turn back NOWWWWWWWWWW!!" the stripper said in a man's voice like she was balding. Otto turned back. "that was all gay" twister said enthusiastically. "UN-GAH!!!!" sam smiled at himself whilst rubbing a kitty full of acorns nesting in a cattle pie. The "gang" gathered themselves up and threw away the key that locked in the sandwiches that mocked them under the willow. "WILLLLOOOWWWW" they all chanted in shaky voices.  
  
THE DARK FIGURE MOVED ACROSS THE FIELD AND A SQUIRREL LOOKED UP AND SAID "WHAAAT A CRAAAZZY VOIICEE!" IN A CRAZY VOICE OF COURSE LMAO OK ANYWAY. [ :O I'M ANNOYING. ] THE DARK FIGURE WAS......................................................[suspense].................................................................................................................lol. 


	4. Silence of the Lobster

Reggie blinked. Twister twitched. Otto back flipped. Sam turned into a douche bag again. That Sam, lols. Michael Jackson didn't wait long before he found himself wearing hot shorts and dancing on top of a bowl of pork and beans. "But soft! What light through yonder window cakes?!"  
"Breaks!" Otto exclaimed when Sam misquoted Shakespeare. As Otto corrected Sam, Twister put an insect in his water. Then he drank it. Then he regurgitated it. Reggie smiled in such a way that suggested poop.  
"Here you are, by the light! Closed mouthed laughter puts the mouse in its place!!" said Reggie, hoping these words were filled with hope and advice. That hope was shattered and monkeys started fondling chickens and a stripper ran by screaming "OMG SAVE US SAVE USUSUSUUSSSSS I DON'T WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!"  
As the stripper yelled in her capitalist American way of yelling, Otto came up with a new jingle for Pringles. "SHAVE IT DON'T SPRAY IT." he breathed a heavy breath, like Faith Hill. It was odd. Then Sam pondered if he could get a discount on his snowflakes.  
A girl smiled like this: :D and everything went to hell. She teetered from side to side excitedly and laid a dynamite behind Sam's bum and screamed "I want to have tea with my morning giraffe and—"She was cut off by Otto who sighed incoherently and said "PUCKATOR" and Sam pooped in fright. They all stopped in silence for a moment to feel the carpet between their toes even though they were outside. It was squishy like a goose's butt. Then they all looked over to see that Reggie's eye had fallen off. It started to swallow the ground and they all exclaimed, "WOAH" then Mya began making love to a pine cone that squeaked and said. "POOK POOK"  
As it swallowed the ground, a nearby priest wondered what it would be like to throw a shoe into the air and then it falls on top of a car and the car drives away. Sam thought this was stupid and took no time to bash a pirate leg with his CD holder and put Twister's hair up in a CD player. Twister didn't like this because it was a gift to him by the train lady in Leana's head. "Don't don't." Otto said as his heart glided and soared and weaved a basket. "OK." Was the only way that Reggie could reply to such a question. Twister was hungry. He ate food and then he was hit by a car.....  
The car died and Otto got mad. "don't ever call me pookie again!!!" his relationship with Mya's pine cone had just ended and they all mourned as they pooped. 


	5. I HATE PRACTICE

The summer nights had grown long and hairy... like a swimmer's legs after three months of not shaving. It

devastated Sam and he moaned incoherently. "O, Samuel, what be the matter" Otto cried compassionately.

With a withered look of distress, Sam flatulated and let out a small whimper. Oaks. Reggie had a baby and then

she fed it to Twister's mom who was a peice of DIVISION... IN ALGEBRA... HONORS. Bullshit stuffed it's

enchilada into a purse. Thins got messy and Twister added his mom on accident, mistaking division for

addition. Then all of a sudden, a big fat giant piece of buffalo bomb came down upon the stripper place. THE

LARDY STRIPPERS ALL RAN FOR THEIR LIFE, SCREAMING "OH GOD SOMEONE SAVE US"...

and ...Twister and Otto appeared.. to the rescue.

As time went on, life in the stripper place got harder and harrier as Ligers roamed the sidewalks and peed on

people's navals... small puddles in the interior of their belly buttons. This was fantastic. It was quite indeed

fantastic, wondrous even, incredible, amazing, astounding. The pee formed a magical tree called constipated

kittens. These kittens purred until they fell off of the tree and yawned, their yawns making a glorious sound of

truth. Twister had always wanted to be like Jack (in the beanstalk) so he climbed this magical tree derived from

Liger pee and when he reached the top... shoulder blades danced with glee and said "WELL THIS IS A

HOOT" AND THE owls were insulted. But, Twister knew this to be a trick to keep him away from the shoulder

blades parading their asses. His desire for true love with one of the shoulder blades named Gloria Estefan

drove him to drastic measures. He cut off an inch of his glorious golden hair... that was in reality like a barn red

color.

+ was the sign made to kill the owls. THE OWLS SCREAMED AS THEIR WINGS TURNED INTO

SPLATTERING BODILY FLUIDS. They died in a puddle of their own armpit meat. It was tragic. Like a

tragedy. only kind of. The room wasn't quite what they had all expected. It was a room with simultaneous

hemmorhoids and it was hard. it was hard for Sam. And it was hard for Reggie. But most of all it was hard for

Gloria. The shoulder blade known as Gloria knew this, so she made her way to the room of hemmorhoids

proudly, with her supposed chin up high in the air, and her big rump floating around her legs. The room

immediately let out a moan of want. hen Gloria flew away, that sound scared her to death because it sounded

stupid. This moan... it wasn't quite a moan of want... a moan of misery... or a moan of misunderstanding

perhaps. "I hate practice" said Otto in an exorcist voice while he sprang to Sam's every want and desire. "I

accept your appetite! I'M NOT MAD" said Sam "I'm not mad..." he repeated loathingly. Otto nodded and

clawed at Sam's knees dramatically, rolling all over the floor and whining, moaning "Nooo Sam.. you can't leave

me.. you beautiful... douche" Reggie rolled her eyes at this scene and grabbed a stripper like Tarzan, suddenly

flying away into the FIREY NIGHT. Then she dropped a wiggling Penguin who thought his life had meaning.

"YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME YOU GROTESQUE" screamed Gloria in a passive whisper that sounded

like a cambell soup label. "MMMMMMM MMMMMMM GOOOOOOOOOD." was the only way a surprised

and aghast Reggie could reply. Twister suddenly gasped, slapping Reggie from the sky with a sloth. "YOU

NEVER SAY THAT AROUND ME! HOW DARE YOU" Otto then died in the flames, Sam farting on his face

as he died. It all happened so quickly that the only thing that could be done was to box up all the evidence and

slap the dancing basketball players around. They said "WHOOP THERE IT IS." and that's how it was.

Brought to you by the letter POOP because if turn it backwards it still says POOP... like an S... your mom goes to college


	6. AND SPOONER IS MY NAMEO

The pincone walked away and the sun came out. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Ok. Anyway, a hummingbird suddenly appeared and went, "heehee." Otto disliked this and said, "Hell naw brudda your butt is china and I dig but I can't open up a tree and dissect it because hermaphrodites have grass in their erm… feet."

"Ouch" Sam replied to this passively. If one didn't know better it was almost as if his sandal was passive but of course… he was but a sandal-less spongecat and his life was nothing but a large growth on the buttocks of Anjelina Jolie. Michael Jackson caressed his pillow and one of his butt cheeks had a baby.

The baby screamed in a manner of speaking and the trees ran away. Everyone else on the other hand wondered how Michael Jackson's butt cheeks could have a baby. The pillow he caressed was actually a fake penis and it too screamed and ran away. Everything went to hell.

After his traumatizing incident, Otto knew one thing. Yes, one thing he knew. There was a thing of singularity that was known to him. He knew one thing. His abdomens spoke the most wise words of wisdom to him: "Don't let life get you down when a rich person flaps their vagina at you."

This quote fulfilled Reggie's life and she sat on Michael's cheek's baby and the baby was fused to her butt. Bob Marley drove by flapping his vagina and Reggie whacked her gopher.

Um.. yes. Like I said the whole world went, "hi." The gopher was pretty pissed and it too flapped its vagina at Reggie taking an example from the reggae extraordinaire. Reggie wiggled her butt and the baby cried. Sam had had enough of this and tuned into Jane Goodall. Gorillas sat their butt hairs on Mya and Mya's leg collapsed into a penis.

Twister's insect reproduced and grew extra lungs. "OOOH! LUNGS!" Twister had a lung fetish so he gathered all their extra lungs and ate them with his raviolis. Sam farted and the world went to Hell………. O Kitty Land. They all screamed in terror and pooped. "69" was all that Marcus could announce at that point in time. Their poops were scared so they are Michael Jackson and scurried to the nearest grocery store: SAFEWAY! It was magical. Safeway sold poop to its camel koala's . YES. So it rolled into a watch and screamed wheel. "LOL" Reggie said and Twister poked a Santa hat through a meat grinder. "Woooopsies." Said Sam as he blushed and giggled. Twister sat on Reggie's head and screamed "TOTEM POLE!" "FFFTSDFDMSFKDASKN" ottttttto said and flailed. But that's another story.


	7. NO HABLO ENGLISH LADY nine

"Son of a MONKEY SPANK! YOU GOT EGGNOG ON MY CHIMICHANGA!" Otto screamed in merriment as he spanked a dirty Russian. Twister couldn't handle this sort of primitive behavior so he turned around. Slowly. And whaled… even though that is the wrong whale… it should be WAIL. But that's ok. Reggie looked at Otto, erotic sensations forming in her groin. "INCEST!" Sam screamed off a cliff, flipping his bangs over his eyes and cutting his wrists. WHOANGMS followed much anticipation for Hilary Duff. She holla-ed… like Gwen Stefani and said "DICK! CLARK! Yeah man." The air filled with fairies and glossy New Years Hats. "BUT I DIDN'T!" said Twister slightly alarmed at his pulsing salad. Thus followed a throbbing rake, Otto quickly left the Russian to himself and started licking the rake, splinters getting caught in his rather obscene looking tongue, Sam wanted to eat his tongue. Reggie wanted to leave the earth as quickly as possible. This caused the regurgitating and hacking to cease. It was like a Caesar Salad. Sort of. Almost. Like not really though. Almost though. Though. Repetition. Reggie died and they had to make the most of their salads… so they tossed them. (wink wink. Nudge nudge). The darkness made Sam's Russian go "HEY YA!" It was the most Outkast-y moment they could think of. Twister was like fhjsdhfjjs and Aslan returned with Reggie on his back. HE LET OUT A KARAZZEEE ROAR an Reggie fell to her knees, tumbling dramatically into Sam's penis. Sam's penis immediately sprung to life and danced like Fred Astaire. "I deny this." It shouted like it wasn't a penis. Almost like it was a Victoria's Secret model. Almost. Not really. But kind of. So as the story goes… Kim need to stop singing cuz she's gay. You know how I know she's gay? Kelly Clarkson. COMO SE LLAMA?


	8. SEXY ORCAFACE :3

Otto sat. in a moment of dead spiders. It was not the same to him anymore. His dead spiders were lollygagging constantly and this made him proud. Proud as a cloud. TWISTER would not have it "FRONTAllll inspection!!" he whined serruptitiously. WTF does that mean/XCvSDlf so anyways reggie cleaned her orca vagina and said WANG like… it actually meant something to her. But. It actually……. Didn't. "protect me." BLEATED SAM!!! omfg no. "NO" said Reggie, she would have none of his protecting ostrich, it was just the way it was, and were, and to be . Otto rolled into the grass, his face lit up, his pores finicking slightly and letting out a shrill cry of data. Data. Da. Ta. No, Twister was cool with this, he had sex with data once, and Reggie was jealous. Of the data. She wanted Twister, and his chode. His chode short circuited shortly after these thoughts. JANSSSEN! That's where otto got his pictures… not cool. SAM FREAKED THE FREAK OUT "NOOOOO FUCKFUCKFUCKFCUK EGG FUCKKK FUCK FUCKKKK FAG. GREG.!!" Greg grimaced. This freaked Sam out even more "WHO THE FUCK IS GREG????!!!!!!" slow and graceful-like sam, sharted. This did not even phase twister… oh no… not one bit. He understood why kim is an asshole and didn't make me a fucken saand. Which. Yeah that's right GOD JESUS MICROSOFT WORD SUCKS MSDFDKSD. Sandwich. Well the plan of attack was most certainly the shiny butt floss that gently coiled in sam's delicate palm. He coddled it… like the newborn child he always wanted. SHREDDED BABY BURRITOS was the name of the game. It breaks my train, tantalizing train. Mmm. There's a sandwich embedded in my thighs, it's name is Lila. Lila had a keychain, with lovely rainbow colors on it. One day, her coworker, the baconator questioned it's sexuality, claiming it was gay. GAY PRIDE. Lila, confused disoriented, in a flurry, and oldlyyyyy yelled "WHAT THE HELL IS IT?" The Baconator had had it, and said it was gay, and it laughed, and it laughed, and oh did it laugh. Lila. Walked out. A new gay was born that day, people to this day wonder where she disappeared off to. Some say, she found solace in her poor apologies, and the metallic balls of her rainbow. Twister loved this story, he fondled his leg. Gings. Otto did too, and then he raped Twister on a beach with a Corona.

"Gross." were the only words that swam through Otto's swimming pool. "I doubt it" said Harry Potter. The GAYs and the the JEWS and then THE CHUBIES all began a random festival of parkinson's disease. How lofty it was indeed. 12. This was all that Reggie could hope for… 12. but my, oh my, she hoped with all her soul. Her soul ravaged and danced and then blossomed into the most cunning array of catapillars one could imagine! FOR REALS. But all that aside "Where did I stop believing?" Sam screached, gently. For Sam was a gentle fellow who only allowed the mention of his ASS in CAPITAL LETTERS. I'm a party animal. Ok. Know why? …………………….. :P

…….that's why.


End file.
